


Break the Silence, Damn the Dark, Damn the Light

by ukulelefoot



Category: Home Fires (UK TV)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-05
Updated: 2016-09-05
Packaged: 2018-08-13 05:10:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,124
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7963714
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ukulelefoot/pseuds/ukulelefoot
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Joyce can see that Teresa is about to make the same mistake she's made and it troubles her. So, in typical Joyce fashion, she decides to intervene. (Originally written for the fic exchange.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Break the Silence, Damn the Dark, Damn the Light

The wedding invitation is like all the others you’ve seen, familiar neat writing requesting the presence of ‘Mrs. Joyce Cameron’. No Douglas, you note. Good.

You understand exactly what Teresa is doing. You’ve done it before yourself. Twice. You know how absolutely terrifying the thought of being found out is.

People gossip, and you remember the way they spoke about you when you were still unmarried at 26. So you accepted the next nice man that courted you and proposed. And anyway, ‘Joyce Cornell’ had a good ring to it, you thought. He never knew. You did everything you thought a loving wife should do and bore his son. That’s one thing you wouldn’t change - having Malcolm.

Being widowed during the Great War was not uncommon, and when you received that horrid telegram, you cried your eyes out. You’d lost your best friend and Malcolm had lost his father.

But this gave you the chance to be you again. You celebrated the end of the war with a farmer’s daughter - a tall, quiet, unconventionally beautiful woman called Louise. She was possibly the love of your life, but you just couldn’t do it.

Bringing up Malcolm on your own was tough, and you felt the financial strain. Of course, your parents supported you, but you thought that they shouldn’t have to. So you did it again. Malcolm needed a father figure and you flirted hard to get him one.

By then, Douglas Cameron was already a very influential man in the village, so when he took a shine to you, it was a sacrifice you were willing to make for Malcolm. Not that he ended up taking a shine to Douglas. Quite the opposite. You’d managed to make three people unhappy. You’d never forgive yourself if you let Teresa do the same thing without even trying to convince her otherwise.

* * *

As far as you know, Alison is working at the factory during the day - you’ve talked to Frances about it over afternoon tea, whilst trying to keep your more than platonic feelings well and truly hidden - so you visit Teresa one evening after school when you’ll be able to talk in peace.

She looks surprised to see you when she opens the door, but she invites you in and offers you a drink. Her marking is strewn all over the front room and you wonder if that’s the most sensible thing to do with a slightly rogue dog loping around the house, but Boris is curled up next to the fire, completely disinterested and possibly asleep.

Teresa gathers up the books and makes room for you both to sit down.

“What’s all this in aid of, then?” she asks you and, for one horrible moment, you doubt yourself. What if you’ve misread all the signs? What if she genuinely loves Nick? But then you remember the way she looks at him and it’s exactly the way you looked at both of your husbands, smile not quite reaching the eyes and an almost imperceptible distance.

“I received your wedding invitation this morning.” You pause, unsure how to broach the subject.

“Nick wanted to get them out as soon as possible.” She grins, it’s nearly convincing.

“I don’t doubt that he did,” you say. Teresa takes a sip of her tea and looks at you expectantly.

“Miss Fenchurch, I-”

“Teresa, please.” This smile is convincing and you realise that she wouldn’t allow anything else.

“Teresa…” Come on, Joyce. “Are you sure you’re doing the right thing?” Her eyes widen for a fraction of a second before she dons a confused look.

“What are you- How do you mean?” She doesn’t meet your eyes.

“Don’t make the same mistake I did.”

“I love Nick,” Teresa states, more as a reminder to herself than an answer to you, you think.

“You may well do. But are you _in love_ with him?” You pray that she’ll let you in.

“I…” She trails off, frowning at you in realisation. “You?”

You nod and take a deep breath. She deserves to know. If there’s any chance of changing her mind, she _has_ to know.

So you tell her everything. You tell her about the gossips, about the pain of giving up Louise, about how Malcolm was the reason you did it again and the reason it didn’t work.

She sits in silence and listens to you, her face softening as she understands you.

When you finish, she places her hand over yours and squeezes. You smile.

“Teresa, please don’t make yourself unhappy. Even if it means not being with anyone, surely that’s better than lying to someone who loves you every day for the rest of your lives.”

“Alison reckons that it’ll protect me, that I won’t have to live in fear any more.” You know that Teresa and Alison are close, very close, and you risk trusting a hunch.

“Do you not think that Alison is trying to protect herself instead?”

Teresa hangs her head and you know your instincts were right.

“Why are you really doing this, Teresa?”

She takes a deep breath and looks over at Boris.

“I’m scared, I suppose.” Her voice is so quiet. You reach out and hold her arm as she lets out a sob. “I’m terrified.”

“I know, dear.”

* * *

The wedding is called off. There’s not really an explanation given. You doubt she’s even told Nick the real reason. But that’s not what matters.

You visit her and Alison every now and then, gradually seeing their friendship growing into something more. Teresa asks your permission to tell Alison and you give it - you’re all in this boat together - and the three of you become like a little club. They make you feel so welcome in their home, a safe haven, and you have no sense of playing gooseberry.

Douglas gives up on you soon after. You don’t care. You think about getting in touch with Louise. It’s not like she’ll be married - she was definitely braver than that - but she might have found someone else to be happy with. And it was oh so long ago. And you’re content with your situation. So you finally move on.

Teresa and Alison want more for you, they want you to be happy. You insist that you are, but they won’t take no for an answer and interrogate you. You give in, just to stop them going on at you, and tell them about Frances. They’re shocked, what with all of the clashes between the two of you in the past. When told, they promise to never breathe word about it again.

You use your Madam President voice to make doubly sure, but your face softens into a smile. They grin back. You can be yourselves here.


End file.
